From chaos to clarity: What I learned about alcohol, identity and real recovery

By Dominic McGregor

If you'd told me at 19, when I was co-founding one of the fastest-growing marketing companies in Europe, that a few years later I’d be writing a book about sobriety, I wouldn’t have believed you.

Back then, alcohol was part of the lifestyle, the identity, the brand. It came with the wins, the losses, the VIP events and five-star hotels. It wasn’t questioned; it was expected. Success and drinking felt inseparable.

But underneath all the glamour, I was burning out. I was achieving on paper and crumbling internally. And at 23, after one particularly honest moment of reflection, I decided to stop drinking. Not just for a weekend or for a detox. For good.

That decision changed everything. And it’s what I explore in I’m Never Drinking Again, my book about rethinking our relationship with alcohol, and how doing so can completely transform your life. Whether you’re newly sober, sober-curious, or somewhere in between, I wanted to share some lessons from the chapters of my own journey. Ones I hope resonate with you, wherever you are on yours.

We often assume that external success means internal stability. I did. I was growing a multimillion-pound company, speaking on stages, closing investment rounds. But behind all that, I was quietly spiralling.

Alcohol became my crutch. A way to manage stress, mask anxiety, and keep up appearances. I didn’t realise how much energy I was losing to drinking until I got it back.

We see this everywhere. In the UK alone, more than 358,000 hospital admissions in a single year were linked to alcohol - that’s one every 90 seconds. But most of the damage doesn’t happen in hospital wards. It happens silently, behind polished exteriors and high-functioning facades. Especially in environments where drinking is the norm.

For a long time, drinking felt like part of who I was. At high-stakes events, I felt like an impostor – just a lad from York in rooms with Hollywood royalty and world leaders. So, I drank. Not for fun, but for confidence. That so-called "Dutch courage" we laugh about? It’s really avoidance. And it’s addictive. I drank to quiet the imposter voice in my head. But alcohol only amplified it in the long run.

Alcohol gave me a persona. But when I removed it, I had to meet myself without the performance. That’s where real confidence began, not in being the loudest in the room, but in being the most present.

One of the biggest myths about sobriety is that it means losing your social life. That you’ll become boring, isolated, less spontaneous. But what I found was the opposite.

Sobriety didn’t take life away, it gave it back.

My relationships are deeper. My mornings are clearer. My goals are sharper. The conversations I have now are honest, and there are no more blurred lines or forgotten nights. Sober fun exists, it just looks different. New circles. New routines. New activities and even new communities like SoberAF.club, where connection is real and pressure is off.

But of course, sobriety didn’t come from one single wake-up call. People imagine “rock bottom” as one catastrophic fall. But in my experience, it’s more like falling through glass bottoms - moments that feel like the lowest point, but aren’t quite. You keep going… until one day, you break.

One of my glass bottoms happened after a night of heavy drinking at a Manchester event. I blacked out, somehow made it home, and woke up with a purple, swollen ankle the size of a tennis ball. I had slipped on an icy hill, missed a critical meeting, and still told myself I was fine. I was in denial. I used to disappear on nights out and get away with it, until I didn’t.

On social media, it looked like I had it all - the watch, the house, the car, the success. But the truth was, I felt alone, anxious, and disconnected. I moved away from the city, emotionally and physically withdrawn from the people closest to me.

At 22, I had success. But I also had impostor syndrome, unprocessed trauma, and no real tools to cope. The most dangerous part? I wasn’t talking about it. Like so many young men, I bottled it up until the bottle cracked.

Even now, years later, triggers still come. Stress. Success. Anxiety. Celebration. The difference is, I’ve built a new toolkit. I journal. I train. I talk to people who understand. I’ve built systems that support me, because no one wins this battle alone.

Before sobriety, I thought success meant hustle. Saying yes to everything. Moving fast. Now, it means peace of mind. Alignment. Being able to show up fully for my work, my relationships, and myself, without needing to escape.

Sobriety taught me something I wish I’d learned sooner: that clarity is a competitive advantage. You don’t need to dull the edges of life to succeed. In fact, the sharper your presence, the more powerful your impact becomes.

I’ve now been sober for almost nine years. Not one drink but people still ask, “Are you still not drinking?” as if it’s a phase or a punishment.

But here’s what they don’t see:

Sobriety gave me clarity.

It gave me peace.

It gave me truth.

It gave me my life back.

I haven’t found one meaningful reason to drink again, and I’ve found a thousand reasons to stay sober. If I could bottle up the benefits such as better health, emotional stability, real confidence, people would pay fortunes for it. But all it takes is a choice.

I wrote my book, and now this blog, because I don’t want you to wait until everything falls apart. You can choose sobriety from a place of strength, not just survival.

Whether you’re questioning, recovering, or just curious, SoberAF.club is an incredible place to connect, learn, and grow. You don’t need to fit an old label or wait until a crisis. You can be young, ambitious, social, and still choose not to drink.

And if you’re struggling, please remember: You are not alone, there is support and there is light on the other side.

Sobriety didn’t end my story. It started the best chapter of my life. If my story sounds even a little like yours, maybe it’s time to turn the page.

Dominic McGregor is an entrepreneur, investor, speaker, and author of I’m Never Drinking Again. Learn more at dommcgregor.com or connect on Instagram @dpjmcgregor.